1. Focus on the good & practice gratitude.
Reframe yo' brain. Even in the worst of times, there is always something to be grateful for. Sometimes, we just forget to take a moment to see it & put things back in perspective.
Find the magic in little things: That cup of coffee. The car ride alone to work where you can sit in silence or jam to your favorite music. The love of your pet. A hot shower. A good book or movie.
Whatever good you can find in your day-to-day, appreciate it. Focus on it. Be grateful for it. It's always there!
When you find yourself in a bad situation, ask yourself instead what you can learn from the experience. Shift from a "go to" attitude, to a "get to" attitude.
Change "I have to go to work" to "I get to go to work".
"I have to pay my bills" "I get to pay my bills"
Don't be so negative. Focus on what you can control. Acknowledge your accomplishments & celebrate the little things.
Did it take everything in you to get out of bed? Well you DID IT! So, go ahead and buy that morning coffee without feeling too guilty.
Try to meditate. At the very least, spend a few minutes in complete silence to recenter yourself.
2. Keep your goals in mind & take at least 1 step every day.
Don't make excuses. Refuse to go a single day without taking at least one step towards your goals. Go at your own pace, but keep moving forward. Every little "to do" you cross off will motivate you to go even further. So take it one step at a time. Even if you do just one thing a day, you will still reach your goals.
Manage your time wisely. Don't get sucked into the self pity trap then realize you wasted your entire day. Self motivation is important. Don't allow your current situation to derail your progress or stop you from progressing.
“If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.” ~ Martin Luther King Jr.
>>> Check out this FREE Slay Your Goals Guide from itsallyouboo.com *affiliate link
3. Build a rock solid support system.
Make sure you always have someone you can turn to during times of struggle. Parents, siblings, friends, coworkers, or find a community to join. If you feel like you have no one, let us be your support!
Everyone needs someone to talk to. Find your people. Curate a list of mentors to guide you. The best way to learn to keep going is to study those who have already done it. We are currently building our #vibetribe & working to create a community for women to learn to thrive. Make sure you've connected with us & we will continue to put out content focused on helping you be the best version of yourself you can be.
4. Take some time to care for yourself.
Whatever self care looks like for you, make some time for it when you're feeling especially down.
Take a bubble bath, put on a face mask, cook yourself an amazing dinner, sit outside, drink some hot tea, workout, take a nap, meet up with your best friend, watch a favorite movie or read a favorite book.
Whatever makes you feel like you, do it. Make yourself a priority.
Most women are pros at caring for others, even when they can barely care for themselves. The same compassion & care you give others, you need to give to yourself. When we take a moment to tend to ourselves, we can better process our emotions & work through whatever is weighing us down. Do not neglect yourself. Especially when you need yourself to step up for YOU. Only you can really decide to get through your tough times. No amount of support will help you if you're not ready to help yourself.
5. Plan ahead for the bad days.
Know that bad days are inevitable & plan ahead to deal with them tactfully. I have a list of things that are the bare minimum for me to get done in a day, week, & month. If I don't do this, when I'm struggling to get through the day, I will likely not remind myself of what needs to be done because my brain will be focusing on just getting through the day rather than pushing myself through my tasks. It is important to plan ahead. Remember the old "if you fail to plan, plan to fail"? Well, it's true.
If you struggle with mental health, self awareness is huge in getting through the bad days with a plan. Know your triggers. Track your moods, notice your patterns & plan accordingly. Know how you respond & what you react to to better understand how you can overcome the "low" days.
>>> Plan ahead & put yourself in control with THIS Slay Your Goals Planner from itsallyouboo.com *affiliate link
6. Shift your focus to something other than your current situation.
Sometimes the best thing you can do is find a distraction from your troubles. The world wont stop spinning if you spend an hour escaping into your mind to try to internally work through the hard stuff.
Work on a project that will feel like you’ve accomplished something, no matter how small. (Cleaning, reorganizing something, creating something are all good choices.)
Do something for someone else. Happiness is contagious & good deeds make you feel great. If you can't find the good, be the good.
Read more books. Books can be a great escape & an amazing tool in the healing process. There's no limitations with books, you can find a book on just about anything.
Did you know we have a book club? & it's reading list is focused on healing, growth, health (mental & physical), finances, habits/routines, motivation, & being a woman.
Make sure you join here!
We are currently reading: Wild & Free *affiliate link
We open voting for our March pick 2/10
Create something; write, paint, dance, sing, do something to express yourself. It's one of the best ways to get your feeling out, figure out how to process them & heal.
A lot of unnecessary stress come from having too much "extras". When you've hit a rough patch, one of the best things you can do is to simplify. Take a break from social media. Clean & organize, which will also help unclutter your mind. Focus on one thing at a time & eliminate distractions. Unfriend people that affect the way you view yourself, your situation or that you do not find helpful or inspiring to your journey. Cut out negative people & stop entertaining toxic relationships. Maintaining focus is so much easier when you eliminate the excess.
8. Give yourself constraints.
Give your grief/struggle/current situation a time limit. Do not allow yourself to dwell on things out of your control. You're allowed to feel & process & hurt, but do not fall into the negativity trap or continue to let every obstacle derail you. Give yourself a day, a week, a month, whatever you think you realistically need to work through something & stick to it.
Something I think every adult should have is a list of their own rules. A code, if you will. A list of tools to help you navigate the world & everything it will throw at you. I actually have a list of rules that I reference daily & update often. Much like the 10 Commandments, people need guidelines & standards to live by when sh*t hits the fan.
9. Stop feeling sorry for yourself & watch your mouth.
Words are powerful. The way you think & talk about your situation will determine how you feel about it. Protect your positive vibes & refuse to let the noise around you turn you into something you are not.
Recognize that what you're going through & how you're feeling is not permanent. Do not be a victim. Live above the chaos around you. Do not limit yourself to boundaries you set for yourself by harboring self pity. There is always someone who has survived worse & still come out smiling. Keep going.
Feeling sorry for yourself is destructive & can keep you feeling "stuck".
10. Start again tomorrow.
Tomorrow is a new day. A fresh start. Wake up with a fresh slate, take a deep breath & tackle the day. Healing is not linear. Do not beat yourself up if you're still struggling. Just strive to do a little better every day. Push yourself. Grow through what you go through, little sunflower
If you found this helpful, please share with your friends & family who are also struggling.
Have tips that have helped you that you don't see on this list? Drop them in the comments below!